Dare me to do something, witnesses needed!!!

I realise that part of the point of yesterdays missive was to 'go public'. In which case I need witnesses ( in the form of readers!). So if you read the previous blog you could help out me out by posting a comment of acknowledgment, however brief.

Why should anyone care about my blog? I have no expectation that anyone should:.). My intention is to work on a Betham's Panopticon principle that the pressure of external surveillance will serve to discipline the subject internally which in my case means sticking to my training commitments, doing what I say and finishing what I start. All Parkour mantras that are easier said than done.



It might also be fun if someone could post a challenge that I must complete once I consent to it (and I must have a very good reason not to consent, no matter how off the wall it is). It doesn't have to be physical either.:.)


Todays training.
Aspect - Mental Weakness - Turn vaults.


Working on mental blocks is a key issue for me; understanding them, learning ways to deal with them and reducing the time it takes to overcome them. I was hesitant to say today I MUST TURN VAULT BOB THE RAILING. (Its necessary to name them to keep track) as I understood what it would take to do this as it was up to my tummy button. I freak at railings much lower so I left with the intention to do 3 turn vaults on a rail that scared me (with Bob in mind).



N.B dear readers this was not ever going to be a epic blog of death defying leaps... I am openly and easily terrified of physical challenges that other people would breeze over.



Nearly 3 hours later I returned back from the series of railing (Bob, slightly lower Betty and twin brother Billy and the smallest railing Bertie). It was quite a hideous 2 + hrs.



Here is an abbreviated version of what happened, and what I learnt.


Warm up, look at rail, "no way, no way, not possible" etc.



Psych self up for it.



Freak out, feel a invisible brick wall of improbability freezing you to the spot.



Get interrupted by dog walkers, pretend to stretch.



Get interrupted by cars passing, pretend to stretch.



Start getting angry. "Do it, do it do it" ...



Start swearing at Bob. Get interrupted by joggers. Pretend to be sane. Smile.



Tell yourself to stay focused. Count down from 10. Get to 1 and shout arrgggggggggh.



Drape self dejectedly over railing. Spot lichen. Start picking at lichen. Smile at family out for a walk.



Tell yourself to get serious. Think of what is at stake. Failure is not an option.



Try Betty instead. No better. Try Bertie. Immobilised. Swear.



Why can't you do it? whats wrong with you? you're useless.



Get moving, motion creates emotion, stillness is the fast track to nowhere.



Run jump, wriggle etc. Get a twig lay it on Bob so it hangs over the edge. If I jump and the twig breaks my legs aren't high enough so i won't make.



Get interrupted arranging twigs on a railing by a passing dog walker. My finest hour. You deserve to be judged, your behaviour is irrational and surely bruises or cuts are less trouble than this.



Jump.Twig snaps. I snap. Decide to give up, reach for my water bottle realise what this means.



Cry (yes really ). Crouch down and cry.



I'm not feeling Bob at all. Bob is a bitch. I can visualise Betty. 3 turn vaults each side on Betty or I'm not allowed to go home. I'm starving and need a wee.







Change your state. Don't beat yourself up. You are very good at that. An expert. You are also a drama queen. Don't cry hoping the world will take pity on you "poor me I'm suffering this is SOOOO harrrrddd". Get resourceful. Take a walk. Breath. Chill. Focus. Visualise it. Feel light. Walk like you had done it. Ask my body to take over as my mind is clearly out of its depth. Imagine enjoying it. Think of the buzz etc.





Return to Betty. Get that sinking feeling. Pull woolly hat over eyes rest head on railing. Listen to a bicycle passing. Listen to their silent judgement. Decide to stop caring about what people in passing cars or walking their dogs think. You are not that important. They probably don't notice or care. Don't use them as an excuse. It starts to rain. Don't use that as an excuse. Return to state. Stick with it. Remember you aren't going home until its done.



SUCCSESS. I kept returning to this process until it was done. It took another hour and the family that passed me one way came back the other way to see me in the exact same spot. But Betty was conquered.



WHAT I LEARNT.



Arguing with your doubts is a slippery slope. Don't even give them the time of day because they are persistent little F**kers.



What you focus on grows. Focus on your failure and things go downhill. Focus on the good stuff and things look up.


Eat more breakfast before mental training.

Mental training is about training your mind through positive repition. Not actually being mental.

OTHER TRAINING
30+ silent fluid step vaults on a railing on each side. Done.